Worthy
by shy-sky-guy
Summary: Harry grew up raised by Sirius and Lupin and he knows nothing of who he is. Sirius has always told him that he's destined for greatness but he doesn't know what he means and he doesn't think that's he's good at anything. Going through Hogwarts and learning who he is, he tries to cope with that while making friends and trying so desperately to make Sirius think he's worthy.
1. Chapter 1

Good things most always come in small packages, Harry knew this well. As he looked at his face in the mirror, he wondered if he would be an exception to this phrase. As he swept his messy black hair from his eyes, he sighed in spite himself. He was destined for great things, at least that's what Sirius always told him anyway. He never doubted his uncle for he knew that Sirius' heart was in the right place, but Harry didn't feel all that special. He wasn't particularly good at anything. He wasn't very artistic, or the most intelligent boy, and he was certainly no quarter-back. This thought had been weighing on him heavily this week in particular. After all, most children know what they want to do by the age of eleven, or have a vague idea at least. Harry knew nothing of himself or this great destiny of his and he was going to be eleven tomorrow. He pondered over this as he walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Harry!" Sirius called his name with the enthusiasm he always did. He always look rather disheveled, but his smile would light a room. Harry couldn't help but grin to himself despite his heavy thoughts. "How did you sleep?"

"Great. Probably the best night's sleep I've gotten all week," Harry replied. He wasn't lying, for the past few nights, he hadn't slept at all. Last night he had managed to rest his eyes for an hour or two. The dark circles betrayed the happiness in his voice, but if Sirius saw it, he said nothing.

"Have you decided what you want for your birthday?" The voice of Remus Loopin questioned out from behind him. Harry jumped. As Remus walked in and kissed Sirius on the forehead, Harry worked up some courage.

"I want you to tell me what makes me so special," Harry finally declared. Sirius' eyes widened and darted at Remus. He frowned and mumbled to himself. Remus put a firm hand on Sirius' shoulder to offer support. This was the reaction Harry always received when he questioned Sirius on this. Harry looked towards Remus for back up. He held his breath.

Remus sighed, "He deserves to know, darling.." Harry slowly exhaled, the air pushing through his teeth as he waited for Sirius to speak.

When Sirius finally spoke his voice was shaky at but slowly grew steady, "I- I suppose that you're ready." He looked exhausted, his smile had faded from his lips and his shoulders sagged with the weight of the knowledge he had kept from Harry for so long. Harry had lost his parents when he was just an infant and Sirius had taken him in and raised him alongside his husband Remus. The two viewed Harry as their own son and loved him dearly. The thought of letting Harry in on these painful facts brought him to a sense of despair. After all, he had taken Harry far away from it when he was but a two year old boy, hiding him away. He knew that he had to tell his nephew before the letters started to come. A gentle squeeze on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts.

Sirius looked at Harry, seeing at last the questions swarming in the eyes that were probing him gently. "Sit down, Harry," Sirius said. Harry obediently sat at the table across from him. His mind was a tornado in his skull, queries and ideas whizzing past his ears. Sirius then began to speak.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry didn't sleep at all. He'd been up all night trying to process the things that he'd been told the day before. They swam about his mind. At first, he felt angry, then doubtful and now he was at the point of confusion.

"Harry, there's no easy way to say it. You're a wizard."

A wizard? What does that mean? Harry wasn't in any way magical. He didn't have powers. That's something he would have known. Wizards aren't even real. At least he never thought they were. Is everyone a wizard? Why had they kept this from him? He tried to rationalize it over and over, but there was no real logical answer for all of his questions.

"Your mother and father died protecting you from the greatest evil that I've ever known. You shouldn't have lived, Harry."

His scar began to ache. Evil? His parents had died when the house was swallowed in flames, or so he believed until this point. What was this tremendous evil? Why had it killed his parents? Why did he survive? He turned it over and let it sink into his brain.

"No one has ever survived He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. No one but you. You are more powerful than you've ever known."

He didn't seem very powerful wrapped in his blankets wiping tears from the brim of his lashes. How had he lived? He was only a baby. The thought of his parents throwing themselves in front of him to save him made his eyes sting. He wished they were here right now, telling him it was going to be alright and that the next few days weren't going to gnaw him to his bones.

"There's a school. Hogwarts. It's where you mother and father went to learn spells and potions and the courage that they both held so much of. You'll be attending. That is, if you want to."

But Harry wasn't sure what he wanted. All he knew is that his head hurt and he wasn't ready to get up yet. If his mother and father went, he should go. Yet he didn't know that magic was real until yesterday. What if he failed? Sirius and Remus would be devastated. Maybe he shouldn't go. But magic seemed interesting enough. If he was as powerful as he was told, maybe it would be easy. He knew that he'd have to decide soon, because the letter would becoming for him any hour. He wouldn't even know anyone, he barely even had any friends at his normal school.

He finally found the energy to pull himself out of bed and get dressed. He tried to tame his hair, but it only got worse and worse with each comb through. The purple rings underneath his eyes made the wild green color of his irises stand out even more than usual. He pushed his glasses onto his thin, pale face and stood at the door for a long moment, his hand poised over the doorknob. When he reached the kitchen, the conversation from yesterday flooded back with even more intensity. A quick glance at the clock let him know that it was 10:23. Remus was working today and already gone, but Sirius would be up soon and Harry really didn't want to talk to him. He grabbed a muffin from the cabinet and tried to make a break for his bedroom.

But Sirius was already behind him. He was teary-eyed and it was apparent that he hadn't gotten much sleep either. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it without uttering a thing. The silence was uncomfortable and Harry shifted his weight every so often while Sirius looked at him.

"Good morning, Harry," He finally croaked. Harry could see the distress on his face and he regretted the way he had stormed away from Sirius and went to his room for the rest of the day without saying a word.

"Morning, Sirius," Harry said quietly, "Listen about yesterday, I'm sorry. I was confused, I-" Sirius cut him off.

"Don't be sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you for so long. You had every right to act the way you did. I just wanted to protect you. I love you, Harry." This brought tears to Harry's eyes and he suddenly knew what he wanted.

"I've made a decision," Harry said to his uncle. Sirius smiled.

"And what's the verdict?" Sirius asked, hoping that Harry would choose the path of his destiny and attend Hogwarts, yet a small part of him wished that Harry would stay. A long silence followed this and Sirius waited with patient anticipation.

Harry spoke, "I want to go to Hogwarts." As soon as he uttered the sentence, a red stamped envelope fluttered through the mail slot and landed on the hardwood floor, as if by magic.


	3. Chapter 3

Travelling by floo powder was not as fantastic as it sounded. Harry had to learn that the hard way. He brushed chimney dust off his clothes and then began to clean his glasses. He and Sirius were to go shopping for his school supplies. To do so, they entered the wizarding world. They had just arrived in Diagon Alley and Harry was mumbling curses between coughing fits. Sirius appeared to be fine. They were marching along when Sirius told Harry to explore while he picked up some necessities. Harry was still trying to remove the muck from his glasses before he slammed into something hard. He put his glasses back on. It was a blonde boy around his age in black robes that looked a little bit big on his slender frame. The blonde boy spun around and Harry was taken aback. He was a pale little boy who looked rather mean, with his nose thrust up in the air a little bit too high.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" The boy sniveled. He looked Harry up and down for a second and snickered, "And while you're at it, take a bath." Harry didn't know what to say. This boy was being rather rude and Harry hadn't even uttered a word to him yet. The boy stared at him with his cold blue eyes, waiting for something, most likely an apology.

"It was an accident. I- Uhm.. I'm sorry." Harry looked down at his shoes and kicked a small pebble lightly. The boy was still staring at him intently, his gaze directed upon Harry's forehead. Harry shifted under his gaze.

"Apology accepted. My name is Draco Malfoy. Pure blood. First year. Who pray tell are you? And why are you so dirty?" Draco questioned. Harry was just about to stutter an answer when a young girl with crazy brown curls about her face came up to them and smacked Draco Malfoy on the back of his little blonde head. Draco winced in pain and reached for the back of his head.

"Bloody hell! Ow! What was that for?!" Draco yelped. The girl smiled and leaned against Draco's shoulder.

"That's for pestering absolutely everyone in Diagon Alley! This is the 5th time today!" She exclaimed. The girl then turned to Harry and seemed to be assessing him. She mumbled before speaking to him, "You should be more careful next time you use floo powder. You're Harry Potter aren't you? I've read all about you. I can't believe you defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Do you really have a scar?" She asked matter-of-factly. Harry was flabbergasted.

"Yes, I'm Harry. How do you know who I am? Who are you?" He asked. She laughed at him and Draco stood there with an astounded look on his prissy face.

"You're absolutely famous! I'm Hermoine Granger. Pleased to meet you," She said. Draco still looked stunned.

"You, a clumsy boy covered in dirt, are the boy who lived?" Draco demands. Harry stared at Draco. Anger prickled at his skin and he felt his face heat up. Who did this jerk think he was?

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Do you have a problem with that, Draco?" Harry spit Malfoy's name out of his mouth with more irritation than the rest of the sentence. He glared at Draco and he couldn't believe what Draco then did. He smirked. Right in Harry's face. Hermoine was becoming uneasy and Harry could tell. It was apparent in the way her eyes kept roaming between him and Draco.

"Actually, I couldn't care less. Let's go, Hermoine," Draco turned around and walked away. Hermoine shot him an apologetic glance as she went after Malfoy. That's when Harry spotted Sirius walking towards him with a shopping cart full of things that Harry had never seen before. A cauldron, textbooks that had moving pictures, glass phials, a brass scale, robes, gloves and a few other odds and ends. But what stuck out the most to Harry, was the snow white owl that sat atop the pile in a cage. Harry had read the list, but he wasn't prepared for this. He swallowed hard. It seemed he had already made an enemy and on top of that, he didn't even know how to use half of these things. Sirius looked down at him with a reassuring expression on his face and Harry smiled up nervously.

Sirius tousled Harry's hair, "Are you ready to get your wand?" Harry looked at his uncle and nodded timidly. He was ready.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry walked down the streets of Diagon Alley with raw anxiety clenching his gut. Wands. They were going to get wands. What would they look like? Harry wondered little things like this while he took notice to the people around him, staring and gaping awe. Everyone seemed to be looking at him like he was some sort of celebrity. Sirius had warned him of this, but Harry was still unprepared for this sort of attention. He averted his attention to the ground. It was made of cracked stone blocks of a light grey color. There was a light dusting of dirt over it and it looked worn down as if it had been walked on for centuries. He could still feel the eyes of everyone he passed raking his skin. There were hushed conversations that ended abruptly when he came near.

He looked to Sirius to see if he was as bothered as himself. Sirius was composed and calm, it was as if it was just another everyday occurrence to be surrounded by wizards and witches that were watching your every movement as you made your way to a wand shop. He decided that if Sirius could pretend this was normal, he could do so as well. Harry blocked out everyone around him. He took in the stores around him filled with everything from broomsticks to potions. The buildings all had personality, Harry could see that. It was as if the buildings themselves were living and breathing, looking at him as he looked at them.

They had been walking for about a good five minutes now, surely they had to arrive soon. Harry tried to brace himself with deep breaths. This place was unlike any other with its winding streets and narrow alley ways, he was sure that he would be lost if not for Sirius. Sirius came to a halt in front of a small weathered little store. _ Ollivanders_ was written above the entrance in chipping gold paint. Harry licked his lips. They were dry and cracked as they always got when he was nervous.

"Here we are. I remember when I got my wand," Sirius sighed as if remembering, "Dragon heartstring, 11 inches, pliable, Dogwood." Sirius chuckled at the last part for a reason unbeknownst to Harry. Thoughts spun around his head. Dragon heartstring?! There are dragons too? What would his be made of? Sirius pushed open the door and Harry walked in right behind him. There was shelf after shelf of small boxes, filled with what Harry assumed were wands. His eyes shot around the room noticing one thing after another. There was a small desk, though no one was at it, covered in dust and parchment paper. Harry's train of thought was interrupted when a small elderly man walked out from behind one of the shelves.

The man had white hair that was unkempt, watery blue eyes and a soft face full of wrinkles. He looked like a happy little man and the smile that stretched across his lips was warm and inviting. Harry relaxed a bit and felt tension release from his shoulders. The man walked up to Sirius first.

"Ah, Sirius Black. I remember you. How's your wand?" he questioned Sirius with a tenderness in his voice. The man glanced at Harry quickly before returning his attention to Sirius.

"Well, thanks to you I don't think it'll ever break again," Sirius chuckled. The smile on the man's face seemed to grow. He looked at Harry with perplexity. He had to be the shop keeper, Ollivander, Harry thought to himself.

"And who's this young fellow with you?" The man asked with certain undeniable curiosity. Sirius looked at Harry, as if waiting for him to speak.

"I'm Harry Potter, sir," Harry said stretching out his hand. The old man quickly grasped it, his face wearing obvious excitement, and began to shake his hand.

"The Boy-Who-Lived in my shop, I've been waiting for this day. I'm Garrick Ollivander, or Mr. Ollivander to you," he laughed to himself, "Now, let's begin to look." Harry didn't know what he was even looking for. Ollivander was mumbling to himself while running his fingers over the shelving. Harry stood patiently by Sirius who was looking out the window of the shop and watching people pass by. After a few minutes of this, Ollivander's fingers stopped. He picked up a box and brought it over to Harry. The box was the same green color of the shop and it rested in his hands.

"This one, 12 inches, Unicorn hair, Cherry wood, slightly bendy," Ollivander beamed at him, "Try it." Harry was puzzled. He didn't know how to try it. He lifted the lid off of the box and inside was what looked like a stick. He picked it up and held it in his and. Pointing it at one of the shelves, he willed it to do something. But it did nothing. His heart sunk, maybe he wasn't a wizard after all. He held it in his hand for another moment with his heart at his feet, when little red sparks began to drizzle out of the tip of the wand. It resembled a sparkler. Harry grinned from ear to ear, but his smile faded when he saw the frown on Ollivander's lips. He yanked the wand from Harry's hand.

"No, no, no. This won't do," He muttered. He grabbed another wand, "Maybe this one. 10 inches, dragon heartstring, pliable, Oak wood." His smile was back as he handed to Harry. As soon as Harry touched the wand, green sparks shot out and onto the floor. As Ollivander took the wand back, he stomped out the sparks. "Oh no. Definitely not."

They went through this process for what seemed like forever to Harry. Every wand he tried was snatched out of his hands right when something happened. In each passing minute his despair grew. Maybe none of the wands would work right for him. Maybe he was just a complete failure as a wizard. He had tested practically every wand in the store with no luck. Ollivander had begun to look even more frazzled and utterly confused. Sirius just stood there, as if he knew something that Harry didn't. Ollivander wandered off into the back in search of yet another wand for Harry to try. When he finally came back, there was but one box in is leathery hands.

"Try it," He said to Harry. Harry picked it up, doubtful it would work. Ollivander watched him closer than he had before, amusement in his tired eyes. Harry held the wand tightly, willing with all of his might that this one would be it. That it would be his wand. That he could make his uncle proud. He could feel a strange warmth beginning to emanate from the wand. He closed his eyes tightly and focused on it. The wand grew warmer and he smiled. He opened his eyes to see a bright yellow light basking the room in a warm glow. The light was coming from the wand in his hand! He couldn't believe it. His joy and pride only made the wand grow brighter.

Ollivander gently took the wand from his hand. The amazement on his face caught Harry by surprise. He glanced over at Sirius and he was beaming. His smile made Harry's heart feel warm. He turned his attention back to Ollivander.

"Interesting. Very interesting indeed," He was mumbling, "Holly, 11 inches, supple, phoenix tail feather.. Only one other person who came in here got a wand like that." Harry looked at him with confusion hanging above his happiness.

"Who?" Harry asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Ollivander looked up at Harry, surprise on his face as if he had been interrupted from a very important conversation. Harry bit his lip, now anxious. The silence was eating at him. It danced around the room as if it was mocking him.

"Why, Voldemort of course," He said.


End file.
